Lou's Blog

Greetings --- i've moved operations of this blog to http://ehlvee.comiccritique.com and of course the MySpace page is still up as well.

Thanks for stopping by!

Managed to post a new review, it's been a while since I've had time to both read comics and then write a review. This isn't the harshest review I've ever written, but I suppose it's up there. When I write something that's not necessarily favorable, it's about me wanting the storytellers to kick it up a notch, take more responsibility for the ideas and not leave things half-baked or ill-considered. The Clockwork Girl has lots of potential and as such I found it maybe more disappointing than someone else might have. Frankly, the problems I had with this comic are common in comics that don't have an editor who is different from the writer/artist. Editors are important! And I'm not just saying that because I'm an editor of ComicCritique.Com. I'm saying that because all storytellers in any medium for public consumption need someone who is a bit harsh, someone who can ask something more of the storytellers, to demand something greater.

Here's the review:

http://www.comiccritique.com/st/grevSt566.html

A few years ago I attempted to look at life from a different perspective, to emulate the actions of a personal hero who enjoyed a great deal of success and became a leader of some reknown despite early childhood abuse and a lifetime of hardship. Of course I’m speaking of Conan the Barbarian. (I suppose it’s worth wondering if he became the fighter he was and the exceptional leader he was because of those very hardships.) If I found myself in a difficult spot, ready to give up, I’d say to myself, “Would Conan give up? Would he? NO!” and I’d press on until completion of the task.

I ended up letting Conan go as a role model when I had a difficult time fitting his responses into the situations in which I found myself. For example, if I were at a trouble spot in a program I was writing, I’d ask myself, “What would Conan do?” and of course end up destroying both computer and desk with my two-handed sword (thank goodness I bought Dell’s accident insurance). Or I’d be driving and attempt to merge into traffic on the beltway and would be refused entrance by the many inconsiderate demons already there and would be forced to smash the car into the nearest lane of traffic anyway, causing a wreck to the left and behind me, but allowing me to continue traveling forward. Of course this would anger the same demons who refused to let me in, and an attack from the rear would doubtless ensue. So I would be forced to hand the steering wheel over to the wide-eyed carpool passenger in the front seat while I opened the driver’s door and climbed to stand on the hood of the moving car. Then I’d simultaneously brandish my sword and strip to my leather loincloth and then leap from my car to the nearest attacking vehicle, and then to each other attacking vehicle in succession, delivering deathblows to the engine of each one. Eventually the highway would be a sea of dead SUVs sporting extensive sword damage and I’d have to walk the last five miles home, which was a real pain.

So, Conan is retired as my guru for the time being. I’m considering as his replacement the Dalai Lama, or possibly Beowulf. We’ll see.

This isn’t a new piece, but I ran across it tonight while perusing some of my files and thought I’d share it.

 

The best thing my mother ever taught me was to view every experience in life as an adventure. Have a flat tire? It’s not bad luck, it’s an adventure! Meet someone famous? That’s an adventure. The only rule is that it be a new or exceptional experience, but not necessarily a pleasant one. One memorable adventure I had was in the realm of exotic cuisine. My wife and I visited our favorite sushi restaurant where the new chef was informed that we were regulars. As a welcome he honored us with a free serving of tako. “How nice,” I thought, imagining tako meant a slab of salmon in a hard-shell tortilla. No such luck. It turns out that tako is the Japanese word for octopus.

What comes to mind when you think of an octopus? Perhaps an eyeless, mouthless head surrounded by tentacles? If that’s the picture that shows up for you, then you know exactly what I saw resting before me on my small sushi plate. The whole octopus measured less than two inches, from tip of tentacle to top of head. It was reddish, presumably from whatever sauce the chef had applied. Or maybe this was a red-ink octopus and the chef had black-, blue-, and fuchsia-ink octopi hidden behind his bar. My wife was so appalled to see this creature on my plate that the corners of her mouth immediately turned down in a grimace normally reserved only for the most gruesome episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She draped sheets of pickled ginger over her own slimy helping so she wouldn’t have to look at it. I admit that I also did not find this thing appetizing. Yet I recognized that I had been thrust into an adventure, and I found myself unable to turn away. I couldn’t not participate simply because I thought I might hurl. On the contrary, those adventures that begin with the threat of hurling are invariably the most satisfying.

I assumed as with other sushi that the entire piece was to be eaten at once, that I should not remove and eat the head separately, or bite off one tentacle at a time. Thus, while my wife watched in horror, I grasped the creature in my chopsticks and in one quick motion placed it in my mouth. Let me tell you, it was disgusting. I did my best to not think about what I was doing, tried to forget that there was a head and brains and heart in this little body that was crunching in my jaws.

I had the strange feeling of role-reversal, that I had become the evil giant in some deep-sea fairy tale told to frighten octopus children into eating all their plankton. Here this innocent Lilliputian octopus had unwittingly and unwillingly become my meal. A point of clarification: the thing wasn’t alive when it was delivered to our table, though it looked as though it could slither away at any moment. There was no struggle beyond that which was deciding to put it in my mouth and further deciding to not spit it out (a decision I had to make again and again with each chew). My wife had little confidence in me; she was surprised that I didn’t immediately spew octopus parts all over the table. She should instead have been pleased that I didn’t decide to play with my food. I imagined the octopus was still alive and attempting escape, sticking its head out of my mouth and then its arms, and then leaping from side to side between my teeth so the outline of writhing tentacles could be seen through the bulging skin of my cheeks. I imagined widening my eyes in surprise, pretending to be attacked from within, standing up and making loud gurgling noises and then collapsing to the floor in a convulsive heap. It was a fabulous opportunity. Fortunately for her and for the other guests at the restaurant, I was too involved in the adventure of chewing and swallowing to play much with this particular morsel.

The experience wasn’t entirely negative. It didn’t taste so good that I would want to order another helping—ever, ever again—yet my personal pride-o-meter peaked in the moments after I swallowed and kept it down. I was later told tradition says eating such things brings one courage and stoutness of heart. This must be true; that night I conquered a fear I didn’t even know I had until it reared its tiny head. Fortunately, I happen to know there are a great many fears yet within me; there must be a great many adventures waiting.

Pretty busy at the dayjob and at home, but I did sneak in time to finish this trailer for Mr. Yocum's cool online comic, DevolutioN.

The entire first issue can be found online at ComicCritique.Com.

Just a stream o' consciousness entry for tonight.

It's only barely still Friday; as I type the clock on the cable box insists on moving forward. Twelve minutes and change and then it's time for Saturday. I'm simultaneously sipping a glass of Yellow Tail Cabernet, channel surfing, and writing this blog entry. That commercial is on where a couple of anthropomorphized suburban turtles are complaining that Comcast internet is too fast for them, they prefer pokey DSL access. Clever, I suppose, in a vast-corporation-trying-to-win-my-money sort of way. Good voice actors, anyway.

The Sci-fi channel redux of Flash Gordon is on. Unfortunately it's not making the grade for me. I haven't given it much of a chance, I suppose. I'll say that the shows that I really enjoy manage to grab hold of me in a matter of seconds and don't let go: Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, a few others. Maybe it only takes a few seconds to learn how engaged the writers and actors are (or aren't). This new Flash Gordon is the TV equivalent of a candy bar that fails to satisfy: it looks sweet and indulgent but once the wrapper's off there's nothing inside, yet my tummy's just a little bigger as punishment for the effort. Not every show on television is required to be life-changing; they can indeed just be brain bubble gum, easy entertainment. Yet personally I have so little free time these days, I hate to waste it on bad television.

I was catching up on my reading last night, and Jack of Fables #13 was top of the pile (and #14 is due next Wednesday). Bill Willingham's writing is outstanding and Tony Akins' art told the story as well as the words did, and in some cases better. My favorite line from the book, when the current female lead is insulted by the self-aggrandizing Jack, who indicated she wasn't "hot": “I am too hot. I'm so hot I should be continued on the next girl.” Few lines make me laugh out loud, but that one did — I just didn't see it coming.

I spent a couple of hours tonight playing guitar, an activity which has not taken enough of my time lately. Tomorrow we'll spend the day in S's basement studio, bringing our indie album another step closer to completion. My fingers hurt after only two hours of playing, so I'm glad I've put in time the last few nights.

Well, although only a few paragraphs have passed for you readers, I'm well into Saturday now, and in a few short hours my daughter will playfully shout “Boo!” from the foot of our bed to ensure we're as awake as she is. I'm going to divert this stream of consciousness to dream time for a couple of hours before that happens.

Hasta, and thanks for reading.

I first started listening to audio books when — before my lovely wife and daughter came on the scene — I took myself on solitary road trips, trips designed to give myself a “writer’s” weekend away. The good audio books were really good, and the miles passed quickly, and the bad ones never made it past the first side of the first tape. Although those solitary trips are a thing of the past, I still find the urge to listen to the occasional audio book. Thus I found myself intrigued when I received an email solicitation from Graphic Audio. They had produced a “dramatized audio production” based on DC’s Infinite Crisis and were offering it up for review here at ComicCritique.Com. My inner geek grinned and rubbed his hands together with nerdish glee. While I often throw such offers out to our excellent contributors, I planned to keep this one to myself.

Part of my attraction to Graphic Audio’s production was that they had employed a full cast of actors to aurally render Infinite Crisis. I was very curious how this would work. Would a narrator’s booming voice intone, "Panel 1, Page 1," and describe the art and characters? Would it be a radio-style drama with special audio effects? After I started listening I realized this was clearly not based on the sequential art version of Infinite Crisis; there was too much narrated prose. Indeed, a quick search at Amazon.com turned up Infinite Crisis: The Novel, written by Greg Cox, and a visit to Graphic Audio’s site eventually turned up the not-easily-found promotional page for Infinite Crisis, which clarified that this audio book was indeed based on Greg Cox’s novel. (Greg Cox has also penned the just-released 52: The Novel, a few Star Trek books, and other pieces that fall directly in the pop-culture realm.)

It took a while — maybe an hour — to get used to experiencing a superhero story in this way. I initially took issue with Cox’s unnecessarily detailed descriptions of iconic characters and locations, and those same descriptions led me to believe he (or his editor) targeted certain passages at too broad an audience. How many non-comic book readers will read or listen to this book? Even so, after that first hour I found myself pleasantly involved in the story, to the point that I was reluctant to interrupt it even when I had to move on to my next task.

Graphic Audio did an excellent job of using all that the medium has to offer. Background music is well-placed, and appropriate effects on the voices (like reverb) place the listener in the room with the outstandingly-voiced characters. Of special note is the wicked speedster Zoom’s appearance. If you’re listening via headphones, you’ll hear Zoom’s voice zip from left ear to right ear and back again as he runs circles around his opponents. I found this very entertaining, and it gave me the sense that Graphic Audio really cared about telling this story in the best way possible. Interestingly, Graphic Audio seems to employ an entire cadre of voice actors who apparently all participate in the company’s various productions, making them as much a theater company as anything else.

If you’re new to audio books, brace yourself for a serious investment in time. While the longest movies (that I’m willing to watch) can weigh in at four hours, be prepared to spend up to twenty hours or more listening to a complete and unabridged audio book, and both parts of Infinite Crisis will take up fourteen hours of your life. Still, many big-city commuters easily spend fourteen hours a week traveling between home and work, and audio books are a nice way to pass the time, whether you’re driving or taking public transportation.

Infinite Crisis has been released in two parts, available separately for purchase and download from www.graphicaudio.net. Graphic Audio knows its customers own twenty-first century electronics and accordingly offer their books in several formats. Although I listened to the “.wma” review copy on my handheld, I’m partial to MP3 CDs (which Graphic Audio does offer), which allow hours and hours of an audiobook to all fit on a single MP3 CD and all play very nicely in most new car CD players. Graphic Audio also has instructions for burning your purchased book to a standard audio CD, which should meet the needs of just about everybody who wants to listen.

Sidebar: Louis’ Recommended Audio Books

My recommendations fit squarely in the realm of science fiction, fantasy, and comic books, and are not in any particular order.

· Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: This is NOT someone reading Douglas Adams’ multi-volume “trilogy,” but rather the original BBC radio show, which seems difficult to find these days. This is a full-cast production outstandingly written and performed.

· Star Wars: Another BBC production (The BBC will make one more appearance in this list), this version follows Lucas’ novelization of Star Wars (as did the original Howard Chaykin Marvel comic book version) more than it does the film version.

· The Hobbit: Not everyone loves this BBC production, but I thought it was as perfect a full-cast audio drama of The Hobbit as can be made.

· Just a Geek: Wil Wheaton’s all grown up from his Star Trek: TNG days and has become a very compelling writer. This audio version of his autobiographical book Just a Geek benefits from his considerable acting and comedic talents. I made excuses to drive around just so I could listen to this book without interruption.

· Any Harry Potter Book: J.K. Rowling’s books are not presented as full-cast dramas, but the outstanding Jim Dale completely immerses the listener in the wizarding world.

· Any Artemis Fowl Book: Artemis Fowl is the anti-Harry Potter; he’s an evil genius bent on stealing impossible-to-steal items, and he hasn’t reached puberty yet. The audio books are excellently voiced by actor Nathaniel Parker.

· Thief of Time: ANY of Terry Pratchett's audio books are outstanding, and a must-read for fans of both humor and the fantasy genre, but for me Thief of Time stands above the rest. Of the other audio books on this list, this book is most similar to the Graphic Audio production of Identity Crisis in that a cast of voice actors bring this piece of prose to life. I’ve listened to this book ten times, easy.